“Balloon Boy” Falcon Heene’s afternoon of transfixing America’s underemployed and Internet-equipped people who thought he was in a UFO-esque balloon floating over Colorado—even though he was simply hiding in his house’s attic—is almost 24 hours out, and people are currently trying to figure out just whether or not yesterday was a happy accident or some sort of proto-fameball experiment. However, there was definitely some fameballing going on–by YouTube-channel-equipped singers who decided to act as a rapid-response unit of sorts and write songs about Falcon, his family, and the media in hopes of Making A Statement About The News and reaping some of those sweet search-engine-derived pageviews. Five of the tracks that bobbed online after the jump!


5. Devlin Murphy, “Balloon Boy Song”

I guess this tragicomedy did need its own “Drops Of Jupiter.” I just didn’t think it would come this quickly!


4. Ignacio, “Balloon Boy Song”

Sufjan Stevens would have written this track, but he’s currently having an existential crisis.


3. drspuchemen, “Balloon Boy Song”

Apparently this Jack White ripoff is supposed to be “a protest against the stupidity of the media,” although it’s really just a song where the headless singer moans “balloon boy… balloon boy” over and over and over again until you want this dude to fly away. Who is this dude? Why is he so inarticulately angry? Should I send him a copy of The Image? And why does the YouTube description of this track end with him directing people to a Web site that hawks flooring? So many questions!


2. The Heene Boys, “Not Pussified”

Now that we know the kid’s OK, we can marvel at the misogynist “song” that Falcon’s fameballing, alien-believing dad masterminded about seven months ago, when the family was still in the throes of its ABC reality show-borne fame. And if you think this is bad, wait until you see the video where his vlogging-happy father discusses the veracity of Britney Spears’ breasts!


1. Leo Martin, “Balloon Boy Parody Song”

The music isn’t at all original—it’s a karaoke track of Nena’s “99 Red Balloons”—but you have to give this guy credit for the fake news reports sprinkled in between the verses. Not to mention the first-simmering, later white-hot rage that is palpable at the song’s end reaches its peak with this open letter to the Heene family, which he put up as a video annotation:

I think he speaks for a lot of us there.


World watches odyssey of ‘Balloon Boy’ in real time [CNN]